My daughters are 19 & 21 years old, and they are out every Friday & Saturday night. They often return at 4am in the morning, and reek of alcohol, cigarette smoke & all sorts of wierd smells. Sometimes they don’t return home at all till lunch time.

I have tried to dissuade them from partying too hard, but they never listen. When I suggest their friends are a bad influence, they raise their voices at me or storm out of the house.

They used to be such angels and we used to do things together as a family but now they don’t want to hang out with mum & dad.

My husband & I are at our wits end… we have no idea what to do. We have just been giving them extra money and make them promise to use it to pay for their taxi fare home. But I suspect they’ve been spending the money on more alcohol and drugs!

Should we also slip condoms into their handbags as well?

You and your husband are failures… failures as parents and failures as members of society. You raised two ungrateful vixens who may either get pregnant, overdose or drink & drive.

However, there is still hope, and as always ahbeng has the solution. The best way to stop obstinate young adults from continuing with their reckless ways is to embarrass them in front of everyone they know.

ahbeng suggests you learn the following dance, then find out where they go clubbing and perform this everywhere they go. Make sure you announce to everyone you’re their parents.

Soon, they’ll run out of places to go to, will be too embarrassed to show their faces in public, and will be forced to stay home.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Zp_Ztd9Gtg

Wearing their fancy clothes, doing the four-some walk, eating expensive food… well, old girl power is nothing new!

In 1998, Sandy Lam, Prudence Liew, Teresa Carpio and Chyi Yu were already doing this, way before SATC. Check out (Auntie) I Swear.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_jIWB6ImBI

And at 03:28 minutes, Prudence demonstrates how she blows.

My oldest son used to be lazy, always refusing to clean his room. In fact, he was rarely in it. He used to always be out in the park playing with his friends.

On his recent 16th birthday, my husband and I got him one of those affordable netbooks, and that has transformed him entirely! He makes his own bed everyday and keeps his room tidy. He also clears his own bin without me asking, even before rubbish collection day.

While we’re very proud of the man our son is becoming, we can’t help but take a bit of credit for coming up with such a great gift idea. I feel every parent out there should learn from us, and buy their children netbooks for their next birthdays.

You and your husband are idiots. You have just introduced your son to the world of online porn.

The reason why he doesn’t go out and play with his friends is because they are all online sharing naughty divxs & jpegs.

The reason why his room is spotless is because he doesn’t want to give you an excuse to go in to check on him.

Finally, the reason why he clears his rubbish bin is to discard the tissues he uses to clean up after himself.

If you still don’t believe your beloved son is a dirty little one hander, just wait till Christmas. He’s going to ask for an 1TB external USB harddrive to store his digital porn collection.

Play this video, and Pancho & Sancho will show what ahbeng really thinks of you.

For more Pancho & Sancho, visit:
http://www.myspace.com/alexyorbel

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQciqODSd-s

My son is 18 years old, and I’m worried about him. He’s a very good looking young man (just like his dad 30 years ago), and quite the ladies’ man. However, I’ve noticed he’s very vain now and pays too much attention to his appearance.

I’m afraid he might be turning into one of those METROSEXUALS! He takes extremely long showers… I’ve been timing him, and each shower lasts about 20 minutes on average. We should be saving energy & water, so a 20 minute hot shower is very wasteful.

When I knock on the bathroom door to ask him why he’s taking so long, he gets agitated and raises his voice at me.

In fact, after my gentle reminders, the showers last even longer!

What can I do to show my son that outward appearances are superficial, and it’s what inside that counts?

There’s no need to jump to conclusions. Your son isn’t turning metrosexual, but is simply playing with his kukujiao in the shower.

Your gentle reminders are interupting the journey to his final destination, which explains why he needs to go into overtime.

However, before you do something hasty like removing the locks on the bathroom door, ahbeng suggests that you should leave your son be since it’s more hygenic to rinse away the evidence, and might encourage him not to explore the many possibilities of kukujiao-playing with his lady friends.